That's you not being mean, denigrating, or disrespectful. However, you are in no position — as far as I know — where you can extend that civility beyond yourself to places where it actually might do something meaningful for trans people as a whole.
If you were in such a position, then there’s a slight chance your terms and definitions, but more importantly that civility, could be deemed “reasonable.”
As others have said, male and female are terms rooted in biological designators that are still widely held to be synonymous with man and woman. Most important among the holders of this linked definition are civil governments. Those bodies most imbued with authority to designate policies built upon those underlying structural beliefs.
When those who hold positions of power in that government fundamentally hold those same beliefs, it becomes much easier for those who hold those beliefs prejudicially to ensure policy holds to an official designation of designated sex equals designated gender.
In the case of trans folk, this is clearly not true, but official gender identity designators give official reinforcement to prejudicial attitudes amongst those inclined to be mean, denigrating, disrespectful, abusive, and violent to the point of homicide.
As the marginalized minority, trans folk do not have the societal or political power to effectively combat such inclinations except through education and activism in campaigns to change the meaning, usage, and most importantly the linkage of the defining terms in question.
Frankly, outside of medical treatment, there are few credible areas where separating the definitions of the terms sex, gender, and gender identity does not make sense. Unlinking all three, and substituting gender/gender identity in place of sex would help bring back civility on this issue.
Parallelling this controversy and arguably the more important issue of clarity to be adopted — would be the recognition that our societies operate largely on the concepts of gender and gender identity designators — not procreative sex. This is clearly seen in how social conventions operate on outward appearances, behavior, and gender identification in order to access the gendered spaces and activities encountered in our societies. We do not ask for, nor have we required proof of procreative sex in order to access these spaces or activities until very recently.
I understand that trans folk have tilted the cisgender apple cart. At the same time, as we learn and begin accepting more and more of the myriad variation in humanity, something is always going to be tilting that cisgender hetero-normative fruit conveyance. It is the very nature of reality to always be undergoing change. Some of can be all-encompassing and devastating as climate change is proving to be. Some changes require a slight rewiring of learned responses to human interaction, such as recognizing that trans folk do need to be accorded all the rights and privileges accorded to those who share the same gender as they do.
And relegating biologically related terms and definitions to those biological things they are actually related to.